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DEEP THOUGHTS Thursday, January 13, 2011 | 8:20 PM |  TopFOR THOSE WHO HAVE HEART DISEASE, PLZ REFRAME FROM READING THIS POSTING. 
I WON'T HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SIDE EFFECT CAUSED.
 
It has been awhile ever since i posted a blog in this dusty and yet filled with memories place...blog is really a wonder or i shud say; A pandora box full or uncertainties..why? coz u won't know what would u be typing out tml, day after or in the future...
 
The truth behind is scary...even i also fear of it but somehow someday it will be reveal and i thought that lying low and staying quiet for awhile can solidify me and let me open my eyes...but what i've been through is really indeed roller coaster feeling...
 
I've been asking myself this question:" What's Love?" not even to myself that i've asked, i even ask around and i've realise that i've been blinded by something...i realised that i actually wanted to "give love"...to "protect" to be like superman...these naiveness and stupidity which soon lead me to become a hypocrite...i really dunno wad i really want in the end...the a gal who i've known to almost 10yrs...redpanda, if u r viewing this, u shud know i've told u before...my life have been to satisfy others...but as for now, i've made a promise to myself that i need more time to search myself...my real self...( none of the gals that i've gone with is the one i really love...this is the truth ) XD
 
Just after my 23rd's birthday celebration, there's this annonymous gal whom i accepted her request to add me as a fren became boy gal fren within 24hrs...by the next last than 100hrs, we met and went to hotel 81 to have sex...when everything was done, i already know this is isn't something so called "Love" that i wanted i i'm deeply regretted by this incident but yet enjoying every moment...sex is really like a drug...once taken u can nvr really rehab over with...but be4 she knew it, adeline and i were already planning a perfect breakup which will happen on New Year eve...right now i couldn't even give a damn abt her already but there this guilt inside my heart and my unshaken heart was shaken...i'm on rehab now trying not to give a damn abt her though i know that i hurt this gal a lot...be it mentally or physically traumatise...all i can say is that she is not my type of gal...even it is, i'm not ready yet as in there's no Love in out r/s at all...i really feel like a brother to her...all though i fall for her for 5minute but in order not to hurt the both of us more, i choose to breakup with her...i cannot coz of sex and give in...
 
p.s
 
to this annonymous gal, ur name has being discreeted coz i dun wanna hurt u more...plz stay out of my life...once there's hate towards u within me, even a simple short sms i will feel irritated by it...so plz forget abt me...for the 100 buck that u owe me, u can keep the change...no matter what, life still goes on...
 
J.w 
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DEEP THOUGHTS Thursday, January 13, 2011 | 8:20 PM |  TopFOR THOSE WHO HAVE HEART DISEASE, PLZ REFRAME FROM READING THIS POSTING. 
I WON'T HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY SIDE EFFECT CAUSED.
 
It has been awhile ever since i posted a blog in this dusty and yet filled with memories place...blog is really a wonder or i shud say; A pandora box full or uncertainties..why? coz u won't know what would u be typing out tml, day after or in the future...
 
The truth behind is scary...even i also fear of it but somehow someday it will be reveal and i thought that lying low and staying quiet for awhile can solidify me and let me open my eyes...but what i've been through is really indeed roller coaster feeling...
 
I've been asking myself this question:" What's Love?" not even to myself that i've asked, i even ask around and i've realise that i've been blinded by something...i realised that i actually wanted to "give love"...to "protect" to be like superman...these naiveness and stupidity which soon lead me to become a hypocrite...i really dunno wad i really want in the end...the a gal who i've known to almost 10yrs...redpanda, if u r viewing this, u shud know i've told u before...my life have been to satisfy others...but as for now, i've made a promise to myself that i need more time to search myself...my real self...( none of the gals that i've gone with is the one i really love...this is the truth ) XD
 
Just after my 23rd's birthday celebration, there's this annonymous gal whom i accepted her request to add me as a fren became boy gal fren within 24hrs...by the next last than 100hrs, we met and went to hotel 81 to have sex...when everything was done, i already know this is isn't something so called "Love" that i wanted i i'm deeply regretted by this incident but yet enjoying every moment...sex is really like a drug...once taken u can nvr really rehab over with...but be4 she knew it, adeline and i were already planning a perfect breakup which will happen on New Year eve...right now i couldn't even give a damn abt her already but there this guilt inside my heart and my unshaken heart was shaken...i'm on rehab now trying not to give a damn abt her though i know that i hurt this gal a lot...be it mentally or physically traumatise...all i can say is that she is not my type of gal...even it is, i'm not ready yet as in there's no Love in out r/s at all...i really feel like a brother to her...all though i fall for her for 5minute but in order not to hurt the both of us more, i choose to breakup with her...i cannot coz of sex and give in...
 
p.s
 
to this annonymous gal, ur name has being discreeted coz i dun wanna hurt u more...plz stay out of my life...once there's hate towards u within me, even a simple short sms i will feel irritated by it...so plz forget abt me...for the 100 buck that u owe me, u can keep the change...no matter what, life still goes on...
 
J.w 
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