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lol just now got a call from valentino, one of my bunkmate... i thought is my alarm sia haha... later meeting him at lavender mrt station then we gonna walk to the market place where we buy our army stuff... then see whether still got time or not... go sim lim square for a walk then go home prepare my things then go back punggol le... then book in le...

Sunday, 26th July 2009
blog @ 1102hrs

hmm phrase for the day!

whatever things it may happen, put away that gloomy face away and start your day with a smile ^____^ .

coz it is like an eclipse; lights will shine once again after darkness disappear.

coz it will be like a dream; no matter what happen now, it will be your past, your memories, your story. (PMS)

let your tears today turn it into strength for the tomorrow.

p.s

plz dun misintepret my "PMS" hor! LOL!!
WA^______^HAHA

and a short youtube clip just for u guys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7rx0uOA6_8

too shag to blog... my life is just like a dream that's all... i'm gonna sign on but still not yet comfirm... dunno what to do... if i sign on, my life will be more than army... just like commandos... as tough as commandos... but money wise... if confirm sign on, its gonna start like the mid of September and then there will be another 4yrs there train like kee siao... dunno whether can take it or not... one of the warrant talk abt it and somehow got motivated by his words... young guys shud be more adventurous, see wads out there... more~~~ well i've tried to push my self real hard this week... and it seems like i'm not mentally prepared yet so dun even talk abt physically... i still got another 2months to decided... by then i will either to really sign or not to... dunno why keep thinking abt 27yrs old after 5yrs starting from now is like old la... wads holding me back all this time?? anyway all i know is just got to face any challenge up ahead and do my best :) ... enuff of the army talk...

haiz having headache now... dun feel like continue liaoz went out today alone about 8pm... went to sim lim square to get razer mouse pad but the shop was closed... so i slowly walk to parklane arcade to play some games end up playing initial D... threw 20 buck in it.. happy? haha kind off... but still feeling sian... wanted to go ps but was thinking dun walk so far away and so i decided to slack till around 10pm then take bus home... slack till now... bought my PT shoes home but still haven touch yet... haiz tml need to wake up early to beach road to get my field camp stuff... next time Friday i'm going to field camp le and somehow its like 2 week confinement... booking out on the eve of National Day haha still got the chance to see fire work at least then book in on the evening of monday... woohoo hope i can have a joyous day...

haiz end up also still tpying... k la... my this week training is like crazy la haha! but not bad i got my 2.4km run clock at a timing off 11min which is silver, just pass for sit up coz i diden put in efford and got gold for shuttle run... 9.9sec wooT! but i fail my chin up which is 0 and standing board jump, 207cm zzz just another 20cm more can get at least a silver... so i need to get my chin up clock at silver all the time if i decided to sign on.. if not, other wise... book out today went to jurong to get army stuff but end up get nth...reach home around 5.30pm... shag like anything... after dinner, take train back to bendemeer... half way through forgot abt keyboard again zzz kns...

k le la gonna stop here le... think i'm going to slp soon but go slp soo sian !! WAD CAN I DO? haha! maybe too shag already thats why i keep on complaining... alright full stop! nights!

Sunday, 26th July 2009
blog @ 0427am

junwei...plz stop it...stop...plz...junwei...stop thinking already...

went to bought a new casing woot! manage to settle eberything by 4pm+ zzz my keyboard button "V" spoil zzz this one is i copy and paste de... mich, if u r biewing my blog, i think next week then i will buy bah... thx anyway... sian lor... i'm going to be late !! got to go now!

if its possible, hope for the best...

Sunday, 19th July 2009
blog @ 1704hrs

saturday night event... went to cineleisure with elroy and guoz... went to bought ticket first and guess wad show we watching! Crank 2: High Voltage .... LOL it was rated R21 coz there's lots of nake shit but no sex la zzz its rated G in yahoo movie website... wadever~~~ anyway after we bought our ticket, we went to the SteakHouse to have our dinner there... i orderd a king size RibEye and brownie for desert... Guoz ordered a Tenderlized RibEye and we shared a plate ful of sotongsss! haha the diff between my meat and Guoz is that for his right, his meat is all meat not juicy at all while mine is juicy and nice to chew haha! medium rare prove to be just right for me... ah very nice~~woot@!

after that we went to smoke out side and LOL keep on looking at gals only...i was pratically too shag... they keep saying there there there~~ i was like huh? where? LOL... then as usual, went to 9th floor E2Max there the catching soft toy there to try my luck again haha! this time i only spent 3 buck there lor last few week came with Guoz, calvin and shawn, spent at least 20 30 buck lor but catch nth! but Guoz caught a lot la... this time he caught 2 big one haha! and one of that he caught is my favourite lor zzz sad... dunno why... how come suddenly crazy abt soft toys haha! but its really cute!! haiz nvr take pictures of that...wadever... after 3 try, stop and emo one side... starts to get tired and real shag... i told them that i go find somewhere to sit down and slack awhile and so i went to the back of E2Max where the children department there sit down and listen to my songs... starts to think that how i wish if cindy suddenly call me and ask me where and i and come find me straight or give me a suprise... i wanted to do that on someone special too but aiya its all just wishful thinking i had... but hey if anyone did that to you, isn't that sweet? haha~~~

be4 the show starts like 30mins, went to find Guoz and smoke at the stair case then go and buy drinks after that... .. ..

well i rate this movie a 3 star movie * * * ... why? seem so budget and sux BUT damn joke la... this show manage to entertain us by makeing us laugh all the way till de end... erm i mean be4 de end... the ending part is really... cocky i shud say... after the show, went down have a cigarette and home we go while Guoz went to a new pub near by just beside paragon... i wanted to go also but roy was there and he just done with his surgery and so i nvr go pub-ing with Guoz instead went home straight... reach home it was already 2am++... playing 2 round of dota and stop... they went to slp while i still up... dunno do wad also.. do until 6am then slp zzz 4ever de sia... i can do one thing till like kee siao for hours... but when wake up, i will be like hmm wad i've done just now? really damn bo liaoz ? 4got already i can tell u that... found myself really a STM already... WHY WHY WHY!! why i nvr write down? coz its like wad u do everyday... and nvr thought that u will forget lol... but well its because i dun have enuff rest... just let me slp and i will charged up...

later i'm our alone... will be going to beach road just to get a blue tape... well i'll try to find a blue tape here first... if really dun have then bo bian liaoz... have to go there, buy one blue tape like kuku... will be going to sim lim square again this time to get a new cpu casing... pratically i can build 2 computer again wahaha! coz i intended to get a new processor, graphic card, another sets of ram, power supply and a new keyboard and mouse... haiz due to my dinner last night, ( i threw $35 @ steakhouse ) i'm very budget right now haha! but wadever !!! book in and our 2 more time and my pay will be out again wahaha! i'm really into my computer now... well though i talk about gals but i won't want to have a gf now that ...fast coz i still not financially stable yet unless she's ok with it as in my current situation and i'm gonna start things real slow lor... had a lesson be4 and i'm not going to fall into it again... like wad i told that sales man at sim lim square last week when i bought this mother board asus Maximus2Gene... although he advised me not to buy coz most of the new board got timer bug and was send back to taiwan but i still bought it and i told him that i'm that kind of guy that if i never touch the tip of a needle b4 i dunno it will hurt... but once i touch and when i know the pain then try to troubleshoot it coz i also told him that not every situation u must be defensive coz u got to be decisive if u do have a plan B... once get things done, dun regret it and look forward though will whine a little though haha but this motherboard i bought do bring me some problem and i presume that its my processor not powerful enuff... the coming month i will get a new one with a budget of 300 buck :) next will be power supply with a budget of 200 buck :) graphic card 250 buck woo hoo!

obsession, posessive, desire, crave, when will i stop this madness...

Sunday, 19th July 2009
blog @ 1034hrs

well... happy week for me... but sian... now i feel the tekang more and more tiring liaoz... get to lear basic close combat haha look so stupid... wadever haha today stayed at home play dota for the whole day with tiger at my house.... playing with roy they all but BT not playing with us... kana own like one kind lol... too long nvr play liaoz some more wa dunno why today feel damn shag... the feeling of haven really done anything meaningful yet zz anyway, later meeting roy and guoz going to cineleisure for a steakhouse that guoz introduced dunnop whether nice or not yet... after then we will be catching a movie... haiz dunno got any nice show to watch or not also... hope that today is not that boring... cindy when to meet her fren coz is her fren's birthday so nvr get to meet her... then hui shi still working hard haha... but got to meet her maybe the coming week or next bah hehe! i am sooo looking forward in my coming week coz i dunno wad will happen?! haha its either i end up being flatten or blown away haha

found'cha ..again... sore high in the sky... look further... u will see wad is there for u...

Saturday, 18th July 2009
blog @ 1920hrs

haiz...tonight went to pub/disco and...drunk again...dunno why today feel soooo freaking down...fucked up feeling...there's this gal keep looking at me...shit shud had took her hp number...ah 4get it haha haiz SIAN!!! gonna go slp now...freaking drunk and tired...shag-ness

had this feeling wanna confess my feelings to cindy...can i make a change in myself by doing that? had i found the courage? had i?? ah...not yet coz i just prove myself just now...still dun have the courage to do things...when will i change??? am i still myself? just couldn't get hold of myself...some time i just feel like end my life just like that...just that easy...just end like that but...still ending ones life need courage too but i dun...

let your sadness today, turn into strength for the tomorrow...
be yourself but not someone else no matter what...
but i've become what i can't be...

Sunday, 12th July 2009
blog @ 04015rs

wow! finally i'm done with my computer haha my first half complete gaming comp! woot! i'm facing some issue with this new comp though coz i'm using a normal dual core proccessor thats why...but anyway its already very fine haha! i'm so gonna upgrade this shit when i have more $$

yesterday went to meet cindy, her sister and her sister's bf, siyi and one of cindy's guy fren and kelvin....we went to eat steamboat at tian tian...well the soup is not bad and there's quite a lot of things there to eat but the enviroment is damn bad zzz anywa we eat for 2hrs plus and we decided to go watch midnight show after that...we to watch The Huanting in Connecticut...well quite a scary show for starters haha sian lor our sitting arrange cock up zzz wanted to sit beside cindy but end up siyi was sitting to my left and kelvin is sitting to my right follow by cindy and her guy fren who like her(ops*)haha wadever...siyi seems a little scared went the show is about to start haha i then start a little joke by asking her whether wanted an extra pillow or not haha she was like erm later if i want, okay bah haha but it never meant to happen haha coz she manage to cope through the whole entire show LOL! .... dun wish to blog about wad happen later

anyway i got home and complete my cpu....slept for 5hours and wake up not long ago...later i'm going town to meet guoz...haha he called me yesterday but i diden pick up coz i diden notice that my phone was actually ringing in my bag...called him just now and he told me that yesterday got 5 gals on standby and he was alone...couldn't find me if not we could had enjoy with them...i was like oh really sorry...think if elroy can walk he sure go de lor haha...anywa i had fun yesterday...cindy really brighten up my precious Friday...she told me something before she left but i couldn't listen properly wad she say as the bus is coming and is too noisy then haiz...but it sounds like something good to me haha! well she's not bad...decent and quit smoking a yr ago...i'm quitting soon coz i'm already used to not smoking inside camp already which is a wish come true to me and i'm happy about it...

tonight i think we will be watching midnight movie again...but then again i was hoping that we can go some other place other than watching movie...well will blog abt it when i'm home later~~bye~~~

as my last stick fells, there goes my salvation...will this continue?

Saturday, 11th July 2009
blog @ 1639hrs

haiz...wa a hectic week for me...had been tekang like fuck haha but it was fun -_-''' really! i'm damn serious haha! its like now our SGT asl us to come down by 1.30pm but we are late so he shout at us hmm pumping position DOWN! CRUNCHES POSITION CHANGE! DOWN DOWN DOWN UP UP UP!! LOL then call us go up change to our army uniform and come down within 5mins and so we did but after that, he ask us to go up and change to our smart 4 and come down again then go down again...then again we go up and take our FBO and go down again and within 1min every out! and in the other min again LOL then ask us to go up and clean our bunk and stand by area follow by stand by bed so on and so forth LOL!!! HELLISH!!! UNLESSH LOL! but fun haha! anyway at that moment, we were like dog lor ... some sad some kee siao some angry lol! thats not all! they tekang all the way from cook house back and forth LOL! wa my tuesday is like crazy la....but overall this pass week consider very slack already coz wednesday was our sports day...and we won! CHAMPION! our OC was very impressed and happy....yesterday they let us early book out...

today morning went to meet my mum and auntie to Tan Tock Seng Hospital for check up...wa when i heard from the doctor saying that her blood cancer cant be cure...i was about to cry out but i diden...we use english to communicate so that my aunt wont know wad we are saying...haiz i'm so sad at that moment....anyway everyone had to erm u know...go away someday so just be happy of wad u had and do now...i shall see it through...actually today is my cousins company my aunt go de but she's pregnant and so i ask my cousin not to go...haha i'm happy for my cousin too as i see her tummy growing bigger and bigger every book out i see...

after hospital check up, i went to sim lim square and spend 400 over dollars for a new computer motherboard and ram haha! my wish come true but not 100% coz this new motherboard i bought is not the real thing i wanted...as in other series but they out of stock and so i got this newer version name ASUS Maximus II Gene...and i bought OCZ ram wahaha! my dream ram is finally in my hand! WOOOT!@ later today i'm meeting cindy and siyi....hopefully kelvin can go also coz i really dunno how to face 2 gal at once lol...actually i ask cindy go only but then she ask one of her fren go also hmm guess she's not ready for a relationship bah hmm i think is really not ready or maybe she's not interested in me bah haha ah wad ever i dun really care also...anyway today we are going to bugis area for steamboat yea! hopefully can get to eat nice steamboat and keep smiling all the way till the end of the day ^_________^X

well as i'm waiting for files to be copied over, i'm blogging....

no matter where you go or where you are, i will find you and there you are....

Friday, 10th July 2009
blog @ 1515hrs

just now was having my dinner...after that when to finish my pack of cigarette...left 3 sticks...went to staircase and smoke...listen to songs in my hp...damn my tears are dropping again...why why why ??? ??? really i had enuff of these things already but i really dunno why...plz stop all this nonsense in my head already...cant i just stop thinking already??? going to book in already then this feelings all drown me dead...gonna stop here already...i already packed my stuff so later i just go bathe and prepare my smart 4 then can leave le...hope the sky is sky when i march in...dun wanna get soak when i'm on my way marching in...lol well earlier on i just had a massive nose bleed...seeing my whole palm get soak in blood, it remind me something but i dun wish to mention...hope i dun get too obsess with blood...some time i really scared that i will do stupid and silly things...

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 1746hrs

yawn~~went to meet hui shi just now instead of later...reach her house at abt 7.30am...wa when she open her door, she was like zombie la...coz her work place got cases of h1n1 and she had been feeling hot and cold this few day...she told me that on some occasion , her temperature can hit as high as 37.8 Celsius and some time it will goes back to its normal degree...well she also told me that she dun wan me to kana also...so she ask me go home though we got to chat awhile only...well got to see her i'm already very happy liaoz ^_____^'' though positive feeling is coming back but there goes the same as my negative feelings...one minute happy, sad the other...wa lau what to do sia...i'm in total lost and in dilemma again...damn I'm back to square one once again...luckily next week I'm booking out earlier as in Thursday night...it boast my morale and make me happy for awhile whenever i think of that though the feeling is short but at least i know that i can have more time msg whoever i want to...

~~~i will always be there for you so don't be afraid~~~

btw i still dun have the courage in certain things...be it simple or complicated...i will still give my best shot as i'm already trying to do now...just hope that my msg will spread to everyone...plz have more courage and more confident in yourself...dun get stuck in somewhere...resolve it if u got the time...dun let it linger there coz the problem will get worse only...( eh to clarify my msg clearly...this is not to particular someone but is to everyone even to those who nvr read my blog...)

yawn zzz getting tired and tired already guess its time for me to slp...in a few hours time i'll be in camp liaoz haha oh ya btw army life isn't that bad after all! haha just a bit sian coz all dun wan to co-operate...if all co-operate, we won't get any tough punishment...well hope that the coming week is a good one and can book out on the Thursday night!

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 0934hrs

wad a shag day today...around 2pm i was doing my phone update thingy as i'm using sony ericsson w950i and my phone was shut off...i'm suppose to on my phone so that my mum can contact me when they are ready to meet me but they cant get me instead come straight up to my apartment LOL! then i was like LOL who is opening my door?? when i saw my mum i was like oh shit! my mum ask me why cant get through my phone..i was like eh hmm doing my phone thing lor haha as i rush like mad man...luckily i bathe already so i quickly change and went down with my mum and meet my auntie that had been waiting for my mum to drag me down haha! went to the si ma lu there did some grocery and went to bugis had lunch...we had chinese dim sum for lunch...after that we went seperate ways...i went to sim lim square...wa lau i was struggling la...dunno want to buy the things that i want or not zzz after strolling for about an hour, i decided not to buy anything yet and went to parklane and bought a guitar tuner...

after that, i went to slack awhile and smoke a few sticks at the staircase near to the bus stop there...thinking where to go and wad to do...decided to go watch transformer...call guoz as him whether want to watch or not and he agreed and so he ask calvin and shawn to come along also...after i hang up the phone, i slowly walk to town...shawn called me and ask me to meet him while i was about to order startbuck coffee...so end up i did not order and quickly went to meet shawn...went to buy ticket...the earliest was 10.15pm show but the seats is almost full and so i decided to buy 11.45pm show and then we to find guoz after that...anyway we went to catch the show and it was already 2am+ already and we decided to go eat supper at Botak Jones...ate a ribeye steak haha cost me $16 !! its nice la haha and we went home after that....

wa lau i found myself typing compo sia...very tired now...later today will go meet hui shi to pass her the cd but dunno can make it or not...hope that i can make it coz so long nvr see her le...kinda miss her a little but haiz...i really dunno wad to do...some time i just wanna kill myself sua...of just let me forget everything...haiz...

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 0601

oh ya...change of plans...later might be meeting my parent at bencoolen haha if i'm meeting them, i'll be going to sim lim square to check it out haha! end up still cant bare this temptation LOL maybe i will get a new razer mouse or keyboard bah haha! crap! going to bomb the toilet now! haha and ya now practicing new songs with my guitar...far away by nickelback woot!

wa shag...our training is getting tougher day week by week haha i can do only half of the chin up only haha! at least...lol! just dunno why i cant pull myself up zzz haha and now do 30 to 40 push ups is like nth already lor...1 day can get up to 200 over push ups LOL! and ya for our strength training, i usually get 4kg weight coz it goes by our weight but that day i go try 5kg...the feeling is like the first time getting my 4kg heavier a bit...we had to do 10 sets of exercise out of it la and there's 1 call arm raise wa that one is most kick one...when last 2 3 4 that time wa lau cant take it liaoz but still manage to pull it through! haha! so happy...now training my chin up exercise so that i can build up my back muscles...

well anyway yesterday night 1 reach home about 10.30pm...ate dinner and when to Golden Mile to play some pool...actually we wanted to play snooker but it was full...we went home at about 1.30am...by the time i reach home its like zombie already...whole body is just so dead la...ache every where...though i dun like massage but haiz...anyway i watch bleach and fall aslp at the starting part only when they are singing LOL...then wa lau...morning ck call and msg me wake me up but was too tired to get my phone...

haiz now my days is boring lor...got money but dunno wad to do...let say if till the end of the day i still nvr spend my money then i'll save it but the feeling is like book out liaoz and did nth zzz the feeling is damn fucked up la...keep browsing through sim lim square price list online but keep telling myself that it is just for seeing but dun buy anything hmm but it seems that temptation is really hard to bare...but if i just go and buy 1 graphic card i wanted, 200 over dollar will just be gone like that LOL! easy right? haha why not i spend the money on some other things...go out treat ppl eat or wad also shiok...haiz think abt it this is just the starting of my army life...i can really see that the next coming month and year, i will be doing the same thing over and over again lor...hope so la so that when i ord will have savings and more money to come haha! going to study private diploma real soon! and this is the only motivation i have now...sad

haha yesterday when i got home and when my mum look at me she was like wa! ur skin color had become darker haha! say till like i go sun tanning for 5days for nth like that LOL then i gave her the kuku face...told her that i'm going out and she was like wa lau must go out meh? shuden u be staying ay home better? she asked...haha i was like huh? why i cant go out? LOL funny la but i just go out la haha! haiz day by day, month by month and year by year seeing my auntie getting older...haiz she had been taking care of me for decades and the feeling of affection is like great wall tick la...told she is my auntie but by the age and look out of it, seems like a grandmother for some of u...hope she get well soon...

BORING BORING BORING!!!!

haiz maybe i go find hui shi later....going to pass her things and chat with her...she seems like got problem between she and her bf....

Saturday, 4th July 2009
blog @ 1324hrs

lol just now got a call from valentino, one of my bunkmate... i thought is my alarm sia haha... later meeting him at lavender mrt station then we gonna walk to the market place where we buy our army stuff... then see whether still got time or not... go sim lim square for a walk then go home prepare my things then go back punggol le... then book in le...

Sunday, 26th July 2009
blog @ 1102hrs

hmm phrase for the day!

whatever things it may happen, put away that gloomy face away and start your day with a smile ^____^ .

coz it is like an eclipse; lights will shine once again after darkness disappear.

coz it will be like a dream; no matter what happen now, it will be your past, your memories, your story. (PMS)

let your tears today turn it into strength for the tomorrow.

p.s

plz dun misintepret my "PMS" hor! LOL!!
WA^______^HAHA

and a short youtube clip just for u guys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7rx0uOA6_8

too shag to blog... my life is just like a dream that's all... i'm gonna sign on but still not yet comfirm... dunno what to do... if i sign on, my life will be more than army... just like commandos... as tough as commandos... but money wise... if confirm sign on, its gonna start like the mid of September and then there will be another 4yrs there train like kee siao... dunno whether can take it or not... one of the warrant talk abt it and somehow got motivated by his words... young guys shud be more adventurous, see wads out there... more~~~ well i've tried to push my self real hard this week... and it seems like i'm not mentally prepared yet so dun even talk abt physically... i still got another 2months to decided... by then i will either to really sign or not to... dunno why keep thinking abt 27yrs old after 5yrs starting from now is like old la... wads holding me back all this time?? anyway all i know is just got to face any challenge up ahead and do my best :) ... enuff of the army talk...

haiz having headache now... dun feel like continue liaoz went out today alone about 8pm... went to sim lim square to get razer mouse pad but the shop was closed... so i slowly walk to parklane arcade to play some games end up playing initial D... threw 20 buck in it.. happy? haha kind off... but still feeling sian... wanted to go ps but was thinking dun walk so far away and so i decided to slack till around 10pm then take bus home... slack till now... bought my PT shoes home but still haven touch yet... haiz tml need to wake up early to beach road to get my field camp stuff... next time Friday i'm going to field camp le and somehow its like 2 week confinement... booking out on the eve of National Day haha still got the chance to see fire work at least then book in on the evening of monday... woohoo hope i can have a joyous day...

haiz end up also still tpying... k la... my this week training is like crazy la haha! but not bad i got my 2.4km run clock at a timing off 11min which is silver, just pass for sit up coz i diden put in efford and got gold for shuttle run... 9.9sec wooT! but i fail my chin up which is 0 and standing board jump, 207cm zzz just another 20cm more can get at least a silver... so i need to get my chin up clock at silver all the time if i decided to sign on.. if not, other wise... book out today went to jurong to get army stuff but end up get nth...reach home around 5.30pm... shag like anything... after dinner, take train back to bendemeer... half way through forgot abt keyboard again zzz kns...

k le la gonna stop here le... think i'm going to slp soon but go slp soo sian !! WAD CAN I DO? haha! maybe too shag already thats why i keep on complaining... alright full stop! nights!

Sunday, 26th July 2009
blog @ 0427am

junwei...plz stop it...stop...plz...junwei...stop thinking already...

went to bought a new casing woot! manage to settle eberything by 4pm+ zzz my keyboard button "V" spoil zzz this one is i copy and paste de... mich, if u r biewing my blog, i think next week then i will buy bah... thx anyway... sian lor... i'm going to be late !! got to go now!

if its possible, hope for the best...

Sunday, 19th July 2009
blog @ 1704hrs

saturday night event... went to cineleisure with elroy and guoz... went to bought ticket first and guess wad show we watching! Crank 2: High Voltage .... LOL it was rated R21 coz there's lots of nake shit but no sex la zzz its rated G in yahoo movie website... wadever~~~ anyway after we bought our ticket, we went to the SteakHouse to have our dinner there... i orderd a king size RibEye and brownie for desert... Guoz ordered a Tenderlized RibEye and we shared a plate ful of sotongsss! haha the diff between my meat and Guoz is that for his right, his meat is all meat not juicy at all while mine is juicy and nice to chew haha! medium rare prove to be just right for me... ah very nice~~woot@!

after that we went to smoke out side and LOL keep on looking at gals only...i was pratically too shag... they keep saying there there there~~ i was like huh? where? LOL... then as usual, went to 9th floor E2Max there the catching soft toy there to try my luck again haha! this time i only spent 3 buck there lor last few week came with Guoz, calvin and shawn, spent at least 20 30 buck lor but catch nth! but Guoz caught a lot la... this time he caught 2 big one haha! and one of that he caught is my favourite lor zzz sad... dunno why... how come suddenly crazy abt soft toys haha! but its really cute!! haiz nvr take pictures of that...wadever... after 3 try, stop and emo one side... starts to get tired and real shag... i told them that i go find somewhere to sit down and slack awhile and so i went to the back of E2Max where the children department there sit down and listen to my songs... starts to think that how i wish if cindy suddenly call me and ask me where and i and come find me straight or give me a suprise... i wanted to do that on someone special too but aiya its all just wishful thinking i had... but hey if anyone did that to you, isn't that sweet? haha~~~

be4 the show starts like 30mins, went to find Guoz and smoke at the stair case then go and buy drinks after that... .. ..

well i rate this movie a 3 star movie * * * ... why? seem so budget and sux BUT damn joke la... this show manage to entertain us by makeing us laugh all the way till de end... erm i mean be4 de end... the ending part is really... cocky i shud say... after the show, went down have a cigarette and home we go while Guoz went to a new pub near by just beside paragon... i wanted to go also but roy was there and he just done with his surgery and so i nvr go pub-ing with Guoz instead went home straight... reach home it was already 2am++... playing 2 round of dota and stop... they went to slp while i still up... dunno do wad also.. do until 6am then slp zzz 4ever de sia... i can do one thing till like kee siao for hours... but when wake up, i will be like hmm wad i've done just now? really damn bo liaoz ? 4got already i can tell u that... found myself really a STM already... WHY WHY WHY!! why i nvr write down? coz its like wad u do everyday... and nvr thought that u will forget lol... but well its because i dun have enuff rest... just let me slp and i will charged up...

later i'm our alone... will be going to beach road just to get a blue tape... well i'll try to find a blue tape here first... if really dun have then bo bian liaoz... have to go there, buy one blue tape like kuku... will be going to sim lim square again this time to get a new cpu casing... pratically i can build 2 computer again wahaha! coz i intended to get a new processor, graphic card, another sets of ram, power supply and a new keyboard and mouse... haiz due to my dinner last night, ( i threw $35 @ steakhouse ) i'm very budget right now haha! but wadever !!! book in and our 2 more time and my pay will be out again wahaha! i'm really into my computer now... well though i talk about gals but i won't want to have a gf now that ...fast coz i still not financially stable yet unless she's ok with it as in my current situation and i'm gonna start things real slow lor... had a lesson be4 and i'm not going to fall into it again... like wad i told that sales man at sim lim square last week when i bought this mother board asus Maximus2Gene... although he advised me not to buy coz most of the new board got timer bug and was send back to taiwan but i still bought it and i told him that i'm that kind of guy that if i never touch the tip of a needle b4 i dunno it will hurt... but once i touch and when i know the pain then try to troubleshoot it coz i also told him that not every situation u must be defensive coz u got to be decisive if u do have a plan B... once get things done, dun regret it and look forward though will whine a little though haha but this motherboard i bought do bring me some problem and i presume that its my processor not powerful enuff... the coming month i will get a new one with a budget of 300 buck :) next will be power supply with a budget of 200 buck :) graphic card 250 buck woo hoo!

obsession, posessive, desire, crave, when will i stop this madness...

Sunday, 19th July 2009
blog @ 1034hrs

well... happy week for me... but sian... now i feel the tekang more and more tiring liaoz... get to lear basic close combat haha look so stupid... wadever haha today stayed at home play dota for the whole day with tiger at my house.... playing with roy they all but BT not playing with us... kana own like one kind lol... too long nvr play liaoz some more wa dunno why today feel damn shag... the feeling of haven really done anything meaningful yet zz anyway, later meeting roy and guoz going to cineleisure for a steakhouse that guoz introduced dunnop whether nice or not yet... after then we will be catching a movie... haiz dunno got any nice show to watch or not also... hope that today is not that boring... cindy when to meet her fren coz is her fren's birthday so nvr get to meet her... then hui shi still working hard haha... but got to meet her maybe the coming week or next bah hehe! i am sooo looking forward in my coming week coz i dunno wad will happen?! haha its either i end up being flatten or blown away haha

found'cha ..again... sore high in the sky... look further... u will see wad is there for u...

Saturday, 18th July 2009
blog @ 1920hrs

haiz...tonight went to pub/disco and...drunk again...dunno why today feel soooo freaking down...fucked up feeling...there's this gal keep looking at me...shit shud had took her hp number...ah 4get it haha haiz SIAN!!! gonna go slp now...freaking drunk and tired...shag-ness

had this feeling wanna confess my feelings to cindy...can i make a change in myself by doing that? had i found the courage? had i?? ah...not yet coz i just prove myself just now...still dun have the courage to do things...when will i change??? am i still myself? just couldn't get hold of myself...some time i just feel like end my life just like that...just that easy...just end like that but...still ending ones life need courage too but i dun...

let your sadness today, turn into strength for the tomorrow...
be yourself but not someone else no matter what...
but i've become what i can't be...

Sunday, 12th July 2009
blog @ 04015rs

wow! finally i'm done with my computer haha my first half complete gaming comp! woot! i'm facing some issue with this new comp though coz i'm using a normal dual core proccessor thats why...but anyway its already very fine haha! i'm so gonna upgrade this shit when i have more $$

yesterday went to meet cindy, her sister and her sister's bf, siyi and one of cindy's guy fren and kelvin....we went to eat steamboat at tian tian...well the soup is not bad and there's quite a lot of things there to eat but the enviroment is damn bad zzz anywa we eat for 2hrs plus and we decided to go watch midnight show after that...we to watch The Huanting in Connecticut...well quite a scary show for starters haha sian lor our sitting arrange cock up zzz wanted to sit beside cindy but end up siyi was sitting to my left and kelvin is sitting to my right follow by cindy and her guy fren who like her(ops*)haha wadever...siyi seems a little scared went the show is about to start haha i then start a little joke by asking her whether wanted an extra pillow or not haha she was like erm later if i want, okay bah haha but it never meant to happen haha coz she manage to cope through the whole entire show LOL! .... dun wish to blog about wad happen later

anyway i got home and complete my cpu....slept for 5hours and wake up not long ago...later i'm going town to meet guoz...haha he called me yesterday but i diden pick up coz i diden notice that my phone was actually ringing in my bag...called him just now and he told me that yesterday got 5 gals on standby and he was alone...couldn't find me if not we could had enjoy with them...i was like oh really sorry...think if elroy can walk he sure go de lor haha...anywa i had fun yesterday...cindy really brighten up my precious Friday...she told me something before she left but i couldn't listen properly wad she say as the bus is coming and is too noisy then haiz...but it sounds like something good to me haha! well she's not bad...decent and quit smoking a yr ago...i'm quitting soon coz i'm already used to not smoking inside camp already which is a wish come true to me and i'm happy about it...

tonight i think we will be watching midnight movie again...but then again i was hoping that we can go some other place other than watching movie...well will blog abt it when i'm home later~~bye~~~

as my last stick fells, there goes my salvation...will this continue?

Saturday, 11th July 2009
blog @ 1639hrs

haiz...wa a hectic week for me...had been tekang like fuck haha but it was fun -_-''' really! i'm damn serious haha! its like now our SGT asl us to come down by 1.30pm but we are late so he shout at us hmm pumping position DOWN! CRUNCHES POSITION CHANGE! DOWN DOWN DOWN UP UP UP!! LOL then call us go up change to our army uniform and come down within 5mins and so we did but after that, he ask us to go up and change to our smart 4 and come down again then go down again...then again we go up and take our FBO and go down again and within 1min every out! and in the other min again LOL then ask us to go up and clean our bunk and stand by area follow by stand by bed so on and so forth LOL!!! HELLISH!!! UNLESSH LOL! but fun haha! anyway at that moment, we were like dog lor ... some sad some kee siao some angry lol! thats not all! they tekang all the way from cook house back and forth LOL! wa my tuesday is like crazy la....but overall this pass week consider very slack already coz wednesday was our sports day...and we won! CHAMPION! our OC was very impressed and happy....yesterday they let us early book out...

today morning went to meet my mum and auntie to Tan Tock Seng Hospital for check up...wa when i heard from the doctor saying that her blood cancer cant be cure...i was about to cry out but i diden...we use english to communicate so that my aunt wont know wad we are saying...haiz i'm so sad at that moment....anyway everyone had to erm u know...go away someday so just be happy of wad u had and do now...i shall see it through...actually today is my cousins company my aunt go de but she's pregnant and so i ask my cousin not to go...haha i'm happy for my cousin too as i see her tummy growing bigger and bigger every book out i see...

after hospital check up, i went to sim lim square and spend 400 over dollars for a new computer motherboard and ram haha! my wish come true but not 100% coz this new motherboard i bought is not the real thing i wanted...as in other series but they out of stock and so i got this newer version name ASUS Maximus II Gene...and i bought OCZ ram wahaha! my dream ram is finally in my hand! WOOOT!@ later today i'm meeting cindy and siyi....hopefully kelvin can go also coz i really dunno how to face 2 gal at once lol...actually i ask cindy go only but then she ask one of her fren go also hmm guess she's not ready for a relationship bah hmm i think is really not ready or maybe she's not interested in me bah haha ah wad ever i dun really care also...anyway today we are going to bugis area for steamboat yea! hopefully can get to eat nice steamboat and keep smiling all the way till the end of the day ^_________^X

well as i'm waiting for files to be copied over, i'm blogging....

no matter where you go or where you are, i will find you and there you are....

Friday, 10th July 2009
blog @ 1515hrs

just now was having my dinner...after that when to finish my pack of cigarette...left 3 sticks...went to staircase and smoke...listen to songs in my hp...damn my tears are dropping again...why why why ??? ??? really i had enuff of these things already but i really dunno why...plz stop all this nonsense in my head already...cant i just stop thinking already??? going to book in already then this feelings all drown me dead...gonna stop here already...i already packed my stuff so later i just go bathe and prepare my smart 4 then can leave le...hope the sky is sky when i march in...dun wanna get soak when i'm on my way marching in...lol well earlier on i just had a massive nose bleed...seeing my whole palm get soak in blood, it remind me something but i dun wish to mention...hope i dun get too obsess with blood...some time i really scared that i will do stupid and silly things...

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 1746hrs

yawn~~went to meet hui shi just now instead of later...reach her house at abt 7.30am...wa when she open her door, she was like zombie la...coz her work place got cases of h1n1 and she had been feeling hot and cold this few day...she told me that on some occasion , her temperature can hit as high as 37.8 Celsius and some time it will goes back to its normal degree...well she also told me that she dun wan me to kana also...so she ask me go home though we got to chat awhile only...well got to see her i'm already very happy liaoz ^_____^'' though positive feeling is coming back but there goes the same as my negative feelings...one minute happy, sad the other...wa lau what to do sia...i'm in total lost and in dilemma again...damn I'm back to square one once again...luckily next week I'm booking out earlier as in Thursday night...it boast my morale and make me happy for awhile whenever i think of that though the feeling is short but at least i know that i can have more time msg whoever i want to...

~~~i will always be there for you so don't be afraid~~~

btw i still dun have the courage in certain things...be it simple or complicated...i will still give my best shot as i'm already trying to do now...just hope that my msg will spread to everyone...plz have more courage and more confident in yourself...dun get stuck in somewhere...resolve it if u got the time...dun let it linger there coz the problem will get worse only...( eh to clarify my msg clearly...this is not to particular someone but is to everyone even to those who nvr read my blog...)

yawn zzz getting tired and tired already guess its time for me to slp...in a few hours time i'll be in camp liaoz haha oh ya btw army life isn't that bad after all! haha just a bit sian coz all dun wan to co-operate...if all co-operate, we won't get any tough punishment...well hope that the coming week is a good one and can book out on the Thursday night!

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 0934hrs

wad a shag day today...around 2pm i was doing my phone update thingy as i'm using sony ericsson w950i and my phone was shut off...i'm suppose to on my phone so that my mum can contact me when they are ready to meet me but they cant get me instead come straight up to my apartment LOL! then i was like LOL who is opening my door?? when i saw my mum i was like oh shit! my mum ask me why cant get through my phone..i was like eh hmm doing my phone thing lor haha as i rush like mad man...luckily i bathe already so i quickly change and went down with my mum and meet my auntie that had been waiting for my mum to drag me down haha! went to the si ma lu there did some grocery and went to bugis had lunch...we had chinese dim sum for lunch...after that we went seperate ways...i went to sim lim square...wa lau i was struggling la...dunno want to buy the things that i want or not zzz after strolling for about an hour, i decided not to buy anything yet and went to parklane and bought a guitar tuner...

after that, i went to slack awhile and smoke a few sticks at the staircase near to the bus stop there...thinking where to go and wad to do...decided to go watch transformer...call guoz as him whether want to watch or not and he agreed and so he ask calvin and shawn to come along also...after i hang up the phone, i slowly walk to town...shawn called me and ask me to meet him while i was about to order startbuck coffee...so end up i did not order and quickly went to meet shawn...went to buy ticket...the earliest was 10.15pm show but the seats is almost full and so i decided to buy 11.45pm show and then we to find guoz after that...anyway we went to catch the show and it was already 2am+ already and we decided to go eat supper at Botak Jones...ate a ribeye steak haha cost me $16 !! its nice la haha and we went home after that....

wa lau i found myself typing compo sia...very tired now...later today will go meet hui shi to pass her the cd but dunno can make it or not...hope that i can make it coz so long nvr see her le...kinda miss her a little but haiz...i really dunno wad to do...some time i just wanna kill myself sua...of just let me forget everything...haiz...

Sunday, 5th July 2009
blog @ 0601

oh ya...change of plans...later might be meeting my parent at bencoolen haha if i'm meeting them, i'll be going to sim lim square to check it out haha! end up still cant bare this temptation LOL maybe i will get a new razer mouse or keyboard bah haha! crap! going to bomb the toilet now! haha and ya now practicing new songs with my guitar...far away by nickelback woot!

wa shag...our training is getting tougher day week by week haha i can do only half of the chin up only haha! at least...lol! just dunno why i cant pull myself up zzz haha and now do 30 to 40 push ups is like nth already lor...1 day can get up to 200 over push ups LOL! and ya for our strength training, i usually get 4kg weight coz it goes by our weight but that day i go try 5kg...the feeling is like the first time getting my 4kg heavier a bit...we had to do 10 sets of exercise out of it la and there's 1 call arm raise wa that one is most kick one...when last 2 3 4 that time wa lau cant take it liaoz but still manage to pull it through! haha! so happy...now training my chin up exercise so that i can build up my back muscles...

well anyway yesterday night 1 reach home about 10.30pm...ate dinner and when to Golden Mile to play some pool...actually we wanted to play snooker but it was full...we went home at about 1.30am...by the time i reach home its like zombie already...whole body is just so dead la...ache every where...though i dun like massage but haiz...anyway i watch bleach and fall aslp at the starting part only when they are singing LOL...then wa lau...morning ck call and msg me wake me up but was too tired to get my phone...

haiz now my days is boring lor...got money but dunno wad to do...let say if till the end of the day i still nvr spend my money then i'll save it but the feeling is like book out liaoz and did nth zzz the feeling is damn fucked up la...keep browsing through sim lim square price list online but keep telling myself that it is just for seeing but dun buy anything hmm but it seems that temptation is really hard to bare...but if i just go and buy 1 graphic card i wanted, 200 over dollar will just be gone like that LOL! easy right? haha why not i spend the money on some other things...go out treat ppl eat or wad also shiok...haiz think abt it this is just the starting of my army life...i can really see that the next coming month and year, i will be doing the same thing over and over again lor...hope so la so that when i ord will have savings and more money to come haha! going to study private diploma real soon! and this is the only motivation i have now...sad

haha yesterday when i got home and when my mum look at me she was like wa! ur skin color had become darker haha! say till like i go sun tanning for 5days for nth like that LOL then i gave her the kuku face...told her that i'm going out and she was like wa lau must go out meh? shuden u be staying ay home better? she asked...haha i was like huh? why i cant go out? LOL funny la but i just go out la haha! haiz day by day, month by month and year by year seeing my auntie getting older...haiz she had been taking care of me for decades and the feeling of affection is like great wall tick la...told she is my auntie but by the age and look out of it, seems like a grandmother for some of u...hope she get well soon...

BORING BORING BORING!!!!

haiz maybe i go find hui shi later....going to pass her things and chat with her...she seems like got problem between she and her bf....

Saturday, 4th July 2009
blog @ 1324hrs