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Sunday, November 15, 2009 | 4:05 AM | Top my birthday is coming and yet its like just another simple day...if i could, i will turn back time and tell him/her that how special they are and to mane the mistake that i've made in the future which is the "today"...but well its too late now...its not the usual me anymore too...though i keep on saying that i'll do this and that but its like always end up swallowing back my own words and rot there...just when will i forget about going into a relationship... haiz zzz why must i keep on thinking about going into it?? why why why?? well if i know, i won't be here anymore i guess...and well i've just made myself a fool again...is love that so important?? why not money?? can someone tell me? though i know the answer on the surface but i just cant bare to admit the truth...still thinking that i owe ppl quite a lot of things and i have to return but the problem is...how to...*scratching head*...
well well well...come back to today's event so call dota team outing but its just a normal outing...the "stars" are Elroy, Boo Teck, Qing(hengky's big bro) and of coz...me...4 of us went to marina square de yaki & yuki for buffet...after that we went to play pool for a few hour since our show starts at 1215mn...and so we decided to play a bit...then went to 7-11 to buy cigarette and a can of alcohol which i drank last time...its like the long can type of red bull can and its black in color and its 10%...i belive that i blog about it be4 like i went to the same place and bought the same drink and then sat down by the esplanade to emo that time haha...just one can of that can make one "ma bo" already so i belive if u drink a few can of that, u might find urself waking up in the middle of nowhere somehow lol...ya...after a few sticks, finished that can of drink, we went to second floor de starbuck to slack awhile....about 11.30pm, we went to arcade and i play maximum tune...then the show lor...now still bloggin about these shit and yet i cant SLP!!! WHY?? coz later i'm booking in for some kennel washing ZZZ well got to see my EMIR for the last time why not? haha luckily i'm not drunk if not i sure cant take it and fall aslp...haiz shit...the urge of hugging is coming again zzz wa lau sound like some maniac psychotic freak already lor zzz of coz la...if u ppl think dirty then it will make it sounds dirty la...so plz think positively...
i'm already trying very hard to lie and bluff to myself but it seems like its all futile...i'm indeed a weak fella...even doing baiting, i injured my right arm...nearly dislocate my whole arm and my knee cap is feeling pain again...**** !!! and as a best trainee, i find myself to be a simple soldiers and so i hope that the high ranking officer will treat me like a normal human being but not like keep calling me "best trainee"...its damn irritating la...coz wad? emotional impact plus physically crippled and still want to torture me?? ah plz...haiz even if that's the case, all i can do is suck thumb thats why i'm still a living thing till now and that's how i live my BMT days...i'm a fake tough guy actually...
sorry ah...type a lot again and saying nonsense coz i really have nth better to do...feeling shag but cant slp coz later still got to book in...but i think i will be playing my psp till then bah coz the more i type, the more nonsense i'm going to type...till next time...its not me its not me ITS NOT ME!!!
SUnday, 15th November 09 blog @ 0439hrs
Saturday, November 14, 2009 | 2:26 PM | Top my life will never be the same anymore...feeling fucking pain now...cant cure by just shouting but that would make me feel better just for awhile i guess...scratching my head or shag myself up but still...just for that moment i felt like peace...every part of my body is tingling...just couldn't calm myself down...i want to take every little thing i said and eat it back...i'm just feeling a bit tired...perhaps numb...
Friday, November 13, 2009 | 8:08 PM | Top time fly pass fast as my 2 week dog handler course too...i'm just norminated as Best Trainee in Military Working Dog Unit under Military Police command cum Security Trooper sounds cool huh? lol...5 yrs dog handler and 5 yrs infantry for my reservice...and ya haha today i make my first live speech ever! very kan chiong lor haha most of them told me that my speech is so dead haha so am i...... well last week is cindy's sister's birthday and she treats me to karaoke at TopOne just behind bugis juntion...we k from 11pm to 5.30am in the morning lol ! and wad a coincidence la coz its like cindy is with her bf and her sister is with her bf too and siyi is single there and so erm lol...but well i diden even know whether she's single or not but i'm starting to have feelings for her erm just a little bit...manage to get her hp number through cindy which i feel not right and ya i did msg siyi but she nvr reply and so i gave up on her le till the next time we meet up then say bah... now...problem had just befell on me...why always i had to go through this tough experiences...i thought that her "newly FOUND" bf WILL actually take care of her but he failed me...OUT OF JEALOUSY he scolded her and wanna break up with her well...though i haven gotten much news after that day i called her and she told me wad had happen but i have to feed my dog then half way through de call...i really could not take it anymore too...i've once told myself that if the next guy she had, did not even put in any effort, i will take care of her no matter what but this is not up to me to choose and i cant be selfish too but too bad that they diden know....but as for now i will see what i can do for her...she seems to be avoiding me but also seems not and yet normal...omg wads gal made of? haha funny question that i dun have to ask...i'm so stupid... ah...i know why up till now i still feel like i've been tied down and just today i found a reason for me to let it go and i hope that this is for real...its easy to say but i guess i have to...haiz today i have a ST(security trooper) event held at east coast BBQ! but dunno whether wanna go or not...coz i still need to flash my psp...sian alright i shall stop here haha! i thought that well i actually wanted to make this my last blog but haiz i couldn't bare...maybe when the day i really have no internet bah haha! tc login off~~till next time Friday, 13th November 09 blog @ 2030hrs
Monday, November 2, 2009 | 1:17 AM | Top today never went out...stayed at home and slack all day long haha...haiz had been wondering went will my knee heal zzz keep on thinking both my ankle and knee are breaking apart make me feel sick... anyway, this coming 2 week i'm having k9 dog handling course and in MP command...well hope everything goes smooth there and my future also...well got to slp now le...damn...waking up at 5.30am and i'm still awake here...well good night! :) booking out on friday :) Monday, 2nd November 09 blog @ 0121 hrs
Sunday, November 1, 2009 | 2:31 AM | Top yo! i'm back to blog..again...yesterday book out and reach home around 8pm...met Jos around 10pm to Outram to get his car...we later went to eat and went to look for Clara some where near...we chat awhile and decided to come to my house to slack awhile while he find places to go to...later we went to some Thai Disco near Jalan Sultan shopping centre to chill...we drank 3jars of beer...haha when we reach there, it was full house but soon the bouncer let us in...waiter lead us to a table and seperate it into 2 while the other will soon fill with some "good looking gal"...we soon discover that they were china national after some cheers and chatting...it was Jos who did all the talking and i'm the one who did the drinking haha...the place later close at around 3am but we left the place around 3.30am and took a cab home...i was so drunk that i vomited while i was on my way walking home...when i reach home, i quickly wash my face, brush my teeth and straight to bed and the next time i knew was my mum waking me up and asking me whether wanna go out with her to pay some bills and to buy something...i get up and look at the time...damn its already 8am plus i think lol i still feel giddy and head ache but i quickly wake up and brush my teeth, again, and went out with her...came home with a pack of cigarette and a box of cerer for my breakfast :) watch the vampire show all day long till baout 1pm plus and i could not take it and went to bed again...got a call from Ray asking me whether wanna meet Ron and Quan at Cine and i told him okay...well it was around 4pm plus i think hmm...head still giddy now haha still feels like drinking more...kk back to the story...after i hang up the call, i snooze awhile and wake up...well i thought it was already 7pm plus but its just 5pm plus and the sky was like...damn...izzit a spaceship of something "big" above the earth blocking all the sun light LOL it seems like a thunder storm is coming LOL i quikcly close all the window and went for a shower...took a cab and reach Cine about 6.30pm....well i was the "first" one who reach there as in i was late in the way coz Ron had waited for me like an hour already ops...psps and Quan soon arrive and met us but Ray is like still on his way riding bike and so we decided to go to place some arcade but still after a few games, he still yet to come and so i decided to do some window shopping on the way down and to buy ticket at b1 and then went to smoke a stick and he still yet to COME omg...after 2 hour had pass...about 8pm, i did a last call to him but could get through and so i've decided to go eat without him...but he soon arrive after we took our orders...and well, we had dinner together...he later told me that he's not watching the show coz he is going to meet his fren and Ron is not watching too coz he decided to go meet his GF and go to night safari and so i ate the 2 ticket myself and suck thumb had to watch the show with only Quan...but be4 the show starts, we went to place some snooker...after Ron left, we went to palce lan...haha Ray and Quan against me they still lose and i dun understand why they lose zzz the conclusion is they are not a match to me wahahah! wa lau they got 1 luna and a zeus and yet lose to a low hp razor lol 2 spammer but yet lose to a farmer...i got my first blood with heml dom and a power thread and had a double kill twice be4 my my first death...got another 2 time double kill with another lothar edge and that is it...i later farm a demon edge and a hOd ( hood of defiance ) and all the way i own and end them with mkb ( monkey king bar ) and its only less then 30mins...i used up the starting money to get a power thread and a helm dom... after an hour of gaming, went for last smoking session with ray and left Quan and i for the show...well the show i watched was "SawVI" hmm this seems to be the ending to all...if u had watched the previous sequel then this is a "must watch" show ya its a 90mins show...hmm and just now reach home abour 2am...bathe and here i am sitting in front blogging... haiz dunno why i'm having the urge of hugging someone...this urge is really pushing me to the limit that i'm going to explode some time...i always wonder if she can give me the last chance, what can i give her? izzit really love or its just the emptiness...i do miss her time to time and the feeling is not fading but changed but what izzit changed to is still a dunno to me till i try it out but this time round i'm not going to be selfish and hide anything...but this seems to be like a wishful thinking...hor? lol ...well i dun wanna think about it as for now...all i want now is a beer and to drunk myself tonight...well gonna stop here and i'm going down to get some beer...bye~~ blog again... Sunday, 1st November 09 blog @ 0308 hrs
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Sunday, November 15, 2009 | 4:05 AM | Top my birthday is coming and yet its like just another simple day...if i could, i will turn back time and tell him/her that how special they are and to mane the mistake that i've made in the future which is the "today"...but well its too late now...its not the usual me anymore too...though i keep on saying that i'll do this and that but its like always end up swallowing back my own words and rot there...just when will i forget about going into a relationship... haiz zzz why must i keep on thinking about going into it?? why why why?? well if i know, i won't be here anymore i guess...and well i've just made myself a fool again...is love that so important?? why not money?? can someone tell me? though i know the answer on the surface but i just cant bare to admit the truth...still thinking that i owe ppl quite a lot of things and i have to return but the problem is...how to...*scratching head*...
well well well...come back to today's event so call dota team outing but its just a normal outing...the "stars" are Elroy, Boo Teck, Qing(hengky's big bro) and of coz...me...4 of us went to marina square de yaki & yuki for buffet...after that we went to play pool for a few hour since our show starts at 1215mn...and so we decided to play a bit...then went to 7-11 to buy cigarette and a can of alcohol which i drank last time...its like the long can type of red bull can and its black in color and its 10%...i belive that i blog about it be4 like i went to the same place and bought the same drink and then sat down by the esplanade to emo that time haha...just one can of that can make one "ma bo" already so i belive if u drink a few can of that, u might find urself waking up in the middle of nowhere somehow lol...ya...after a few sticks, finished that can of drink, we went to second floor de starbuck to slack awhile....about 11.30pm, we went to arcade and i play maximum tune...then the show lor...now still bloggin about these shit and yet i cant SLP!!! WHY?? coz later i'm booking in for some kennel washing ZZZ well got to see my EMIR for the last time why not? haha luckily i'm not drunk if not i sure cant take it and fall aslp...haiz shit...the urge of hugging is coming again zzz wa lau sound like some maniac psychotic freak already lor zzz of coz la...if u ppl think dirty then it will make it sounds dirty la...so plz think positively...
i'm already trying very hard to lie and bluff to myself but it seems like its all futile...i'm indeed a weak fella...even doing baiting, i injured my right arm...nearly dislocate my whole arm and my knee cap is feeling pain again...**** !!! and as a best trainee, i find myself to be a simple soldiers and so i hope that the high ranking officer will treat me like a normal human being but not like keep calling me "best trainee"...its damn irritating la...coz wad? emotional impact plus physically crippled and still want to torture me?? ah plz...haiz even if that's the case, all i can do is suck thumb thats why i'm still a living thing till now and that's how i live my BMT days...i'm a fake tough guy actually...
sorry ah...type a lot again and saying nonsense coz i really have nth better to do...feeling shag but cant slp coz later still got to book in...but i think i will be playing my psp till then bah coz the more i type, the more nonsense i'm going to type...till next time...its not me its not me ITS NOT ME!!!
SUnday, 15th November 09 blog @ 0439hrs
Saturday, November 14, 2009 | 2:26 PM | Top my life will never be the same anymore...feeling fucking pain now...cant cure by just shouting but that would make me feel better just for awhile i guess...scratching my head or shag myself up but still...just for that moment i felt like peace...every part of my body is tingling...just couldn't calm myself down...i want to take every little thing i said and eat it back...i'm just feeling a bit tired...perhaps numb...
Friday, November 13, 2009 | 8:08 PM | Top time fly pass fast as my 2 week dog handler course too...i'm just norminated as Best Trainee in Military Working Dog Unit under Military Police command cum Security Trooper sounds cool huh? lol...5 yrs dog handler and 5 yrs infantry for my reservice...and ya haha today i make my first live speech ever! very kan chiong lor haha most of them told me that my speech is so dead haha so am i...... well last week is cindy's sister's birthday and she treats me to karaoke at TopOne just behind bugis juntion...we k from 11pm to 5.30am in the morning lol ! and wad a coincidence la coz its like cindy is with her bf and her sister is with her bf too and siyi is single there and so erm lol...but well i diden even know whether she's single or not but i'm starting to have feelings for her erm just a little bit...manage to get her hp number through cindy which i feel not right and ya i did msg siyi but she nvr reply and so i gave up on her le till the next time we meet up then say bah... now...problem had just befell on me...why always i had to go through this tough experiences...i thought that her "newly FOUND" bf WILL actually take care of her but he failed me...OUT OF JEALOUSY he scolded her and wanna break up with her well...though i haven gotten much news after that day i called her and she told me wad had happen but i have to feed my dog then half way through de call...i really could not take it anymore too...i've once told myself that if the next guy she had, did not even put in any effort, i will take care of her no matter what but this is not up to me to choose and i cant be selfish too but too bad that they diden know....but as for now i will see what i can do for her...she seems to be avoiding me but also seems not and yet normal...omg wads gal made of? haha funny question that i dun have to ask...i'm so stupid... ah...i know why up till now i still feel like i've been tied down and just today i found a reason for me to let it go and i hope that this is for real...its easy to say but i guess i have to...haiz today i have a ST(security trooper) event held at east coast BBQ! but dunno whether wanna go or not...coz i still need to flash my psp...sian alright i shall stop here haha! i thought that well i actually wanted to make this my last blog but haiz i couldn't bare...maybe when the day i really have no internet bah haha! tc login off~~till next time Friday, 13th November 09 blog @ 2030hrs
Monday, November 2, 2009 | 1:17 AM | Top today never went out...stayed at home and slack all day long haha...haiz had been wondering went will my knee heal zzz keep on thinking both my ankle and knee are breaking apart make me feel sick... anyway, this coming 2 week i'm having k9 dog handling course and in MP command...well hope everything goes smooth there and my future also...well got to slp now le...damn...waking up at 5.30am and i'm still awake here...well good night! :) booking out on friday :) Monday, 2nd November 09 blog @ 0121 hrs
Sunday, November 1, 2009 | 2:31 AM | Top yo! i'm back to blog..again...yesterday book out and reach home around 8pm...met Jos around 10pm to Outram to get his car...we later went to eat and went to look for Clara some where near...we chat awhile and decided to come to my house to slack awhile while he find places to go to...later we went to some Thai Disco near Jalan Sultan shopping centre to chill...we drank 3jars of beer...haha when we reach there, it was full house but soon the bouncer let us in...waiter lead us to a table and seperate it into 2 while the other will soon fill with some "good looking gal"...we soon discover that they were china national after some cheers and chatting...it was Jos who did all the talking and i'm the one who did the drinking haha...the place later close at around 3am but we left the place around 3.30am and took a cab home...i was so drunk that i vomited while i was on my way walking home...when i reach home, i quickly wash my face, brush my teeth and straight to bed and the next time i knew was my mum waking me up and asking me whether wanna go out with her to pay some bills and to buy something...i get up and look at the time...damn its already 8am plus i think lol i still feel giddy and head ache but i quickly wake up and brush my teeth, again, and went out with her...came home with a pack of cigarette and a box of cerer for my breakfast :) watch the vampire show all day long till baout 1pm plus and i could not take it and went to bed again...got a call from Ray asking me whether wanna meet Ron and Quan at Cine and i told him okay...well it was around 4pm plus i think hmm...head still giddy now haha still feels like drinking more...kk back to the story...after i hang up the call, i snooze awhile and wake up...well i thought it was already 7pm plus but its just 5pm plus and the sky was like...damn...izzit a spaceship of something "big" above the earth blocking all the sun light LOL it seems like a thunder storm is coming LOL i quikcly close all the window and went for a shower...took a cab and reach Cine about 6.30pm....well i was the "first" one who reach there as in i was late in the way coz Ron had waited for me like an hour already ops...psps and Quan soon arrive and met us but Ray is like still on his way riding bike and so we decided to go to place some arcade but still after a few games, he still yet to come and so i decided to do some window shopping on the way down and to buy ticket at b1 and then went to smoke a stick and he still yet to COME omg...after 2 hour had pass...about 8pm, i did a last call to him but could get through and so i've decided to go eat without him...but he soon arrive after we took our orders...and well, we had dinner together...he later told me that he's not watching the show coz he is going to meet his fren and Ron is not watching too coz he decided to go meet his GF and go to night safari and so i ate the 2 ticket myself and suck thumb had to watch the show with only Quan...but be4 the show starts, we went to place some snooker...after Ron left, we went to palce lan...haha Ray and Quan against me they still lose and i dun understand why they lose zzz the conclusion is they are not a match to me wahahah! wa lau they got 1 luna and a zeus and yet lose to a low hp razor lol 2 spammer but yet lose to a farmer...i got my first blood with heml dom and a power thread and had a double kill twice be4 my my first death...got another 2 time double kill with another lothar edge and that is it...i later farm a demon edge and a hOd ( hood of defiance ) and all the way i own and end them with mkb ( monkey king bar ) and its only less then 30mins...i used up the starting money to get a power thread and a helm dom... after an hour of gaming, went for last smoking session with ray and left Quan and i for the show...well the show i watched was "SawVI" hmm this seems to be the ending to all...if u had watched the previous sequel then this is a "must watch" show ya its a 90mins show...hmm and just now reach home abour 2am...bathe and here i am sitting in front blogging... haiz dunno why i'm having the urge of hugging someone...this urge is really pushing me to the limit that i'm going to explode some time...i always wonder if she can give me the last chance, what can i give her? izzit really love or its just the emptiness...i do miss her time to time and the feeling is not fading but changed but what izzit changed to is still a dunno to me till i try it out but this time round i'm not going to be selfish and hide anything...but this seems to be like a wishful thinking...hor? lol ...well i dun wanna think about it as for now...all i want now is a beer and to drunk myself tonight...well gonna stop here and i'm going down to get some beer...bye~~ blog again... Sunday, 1st November 09 blog @ 0308 hrs
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