i've become what i can't be...

Home Links Music Playlist at MixPod.com Tagboard	Tuesday, October 27, 2009 \| 2:41 PM \| Top well...yesterday after going home for dinner, came home with mum and i forget about going anywhere but to buy some beer to chill out aT my "old" place where i used to stay aT a staircase...smoke a few sticks with a few cans of beer...well its been like years and its like nothing change but only the way i live my life...maybe nothing had change at all ! its always be coz of someone that changes everything...from a normal family become an abnormal family living in a totally different enviroment...the love that i try to sort i now then realise its just that human closeness and that emptiness i'm trying to fill in...but why do i have to think that way ? i guess i'm crazy...i'm on the verge of breaking down...its just that when will it happen...maybe i'm just thinking too much...dunno why some time it seems like i'm getting hold of myself but some time i'll just do or thinking about something stupid why why why??~~~ slept early yesterday night and wake up very early tonight be4 8am...went to do some grocery with mum and had breakfast together....the she went home about 11am and i continue to watch my date with a vampire part 1...just cooked myself meggie mee with vegie, prawns and fishballs lol...while watching show...well i dun think i'll be signing on le...think i'll be going to k9 unit or stay at 8 SIR...wanted to faster come out to this society and i won't want to regret ever be4 i choose to do anything...there's no short cuts for everything...walk on stone is better than swim across coz i cant swim =.='' ...well had been wondering around the internet for quite some time and ermm hmm dunno what to say...i just miss my weekend outing and haha...just dunno why i've thousands of reason for not doing things that i suppose to do even if its just right in front of me...dun say suppose to do la...say about what i CAN do...haiz thousand and one regret all over my face lol ! i thought i've crawl out but it seems like i'm in another war zone now...when will this war ends?? well later going to meet Raymond at Kallang Mrt station and book in camp together and tml we'll be going to UO (urban ops) again for Wednesday and Thursday but this time we get to come back to camp and slack hmm and this si going to my last week of this course training... all i have to say is that i've always wanting to be with you but i still could not find the courage... i dun mind if its too late or not...to see you smile i'll be content... hypocrite indeed i am but isn't everyone is? what matter is how you think and what you want it to be... just wanna say...its been hell to me for the last 60days be4 i got enlisted... stop talking crap like even if we are together, we wont be like what we used to be... if you ever thinking of being together then why are you leaving me ? maybe you hinted me be4 but i choose not to admit... but i've done so much isn't that so obvious? i just could not find the courage... dun take drug anymore... its heart aching for me to see you vomit again... i will always remember... i will never forget... take care... Tuesday, 27th October 09 blog@1520hrs	Tuesday, October 27, 2009 \| 2:41 PM \| Top well...yesterday after going home for dinner, came home with mum and i forget about going anywhere but to buy some beer to chill out aT my "old" place where i used to stay aT a staircase...smoke a few sticks with a few cans of beer...well its been like years and its like nothing change but only the way i live my life...maybe nothing had change at all ! its always be coz of someone that changes everything...from a normal family become an abnormal family living in a totally different enviroment...the love that i try to sort i now then realise its just that human closeness and that emptiness i'm trying to fill in...but why do i have to think that way ? i guess i'm crazy...i'm on the verge of breaking down...its just that when will it happen...maybe i'm just thinking too much...dunno why some time it seems like i'm getting hold of myself but some time i'll just do or thinking about something stupid why why why??~~~ slept early yesterday night and wake up very early tonight be4 8am...went to do some grocery with mum and had breakfast together....the she went home about 11am and i continue to watch my date with a vampire part 1...just cooked myself meggie mee with vegie, prawns and fishballs lol...while watching show...well i dun think i'll be signing on le...think i'll be going to k9 unit or stay at 8 SIR...wanted to faster come out to this society and i won't want to regret ever be4 i choose to do anything...there's no short cuts for everything...walk on stone is better than swim across coz i cant swim =.='' ...well had been wondering around the internet for quite some time and ermm hmm dunno what to say...i just miss my weekend outing and haha...just dunno why i've thousands of reason for not doing things that i suppose to do even if its just right in front of me...dun say suppose to do la...say about what i CAN do...haiz thousand and one regret all over my face lol ! i thought i've crawl out but it seems like i'm in another war zone now...when will this war ends?? well later going to meet Raymond at Kallang Mrt station and book in camp together and tml we'll be going to UO (urban ops) again for Wednesday and Thursday but this time we get to come back to camp and slack hmm and this si going to my last week of this course training... all i have to say is that i've always wanting to be with you but i still could not find the courage... i dun mind if its too late or not...to see you smile i'll be content... hypocrite indeed i am but isn't everyone is? what matter is how you think and what you want it to be... just wanna say...its been hell to me for the last 60days be4 i got enlisted... stop talking crap like even if we are together, we wont be like what we used to be... if you ever thinking of being together then why are you leaving me ? maybe you hinted me be4 but i choose not to admit... but i've done so much isn't that so obvious? i just could not find the courage... dun take drug anymore... its heart aching for me to see you vomit again... i will always remember... i will never forget... take care... Tuesday, 27th October 09 blog@1520hrs	About Me Your profile here!	Affiliates .k a i. . .h i p p o l i c o u s. . .E v o n. . .C k. . .T u l c u S. . .G i N n. . .X i n g y i. . Recent May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 December 2008 January 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 January 2011 Credits Designer:Little-Miss-Wendy Basecode: X X X Icon:Cyworld	Misc Anything extra goes here.
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