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Friday, April 10, 2009 | 5:15 PM | Top ~~~is started on 20th April 2007~~~
i'm now blogging at punggol...2yrs ago de today...nth seems to be happening..i'm still myself:)buddy hui xi lost contact again like it used to be and i already used to it...knew her for so long yet dun dare to show it just dunno why...had my first gf at 16 and broke off after we are like 4months...had my first heart ache this and that...my best fren was tiger then haha he know me best...yap around that time i dun own any computer stuff yet coz had a cold war with my cousin and stop using his comp eventually...tat time was different...a lot of fren...went out together doing stupid stuff...yea after my first break up, i start to change dramatically...eh for the frens that know me now, this is wad i've become and this is me now...am i a nice guy? good or bad? i dunno...am i still frenly? haha i sure that its always some possitive comment...i nvr really had any bad comment abt me...only some said that once i had new fren, i will forget my old fren in fact i'm always there and will be there for them if they call me out its just that they dunno wad i am actually so couldn't really blame them in fact i nvr once blame on any body for anything...in fact they change me:)17 de me, still feeling young and u know de la haha energetic and do crazy stuff...once a fren of mine told me that we smokers are training x2 of the stamina than the non smokers...tat time i agree but now haha its bad for ur health la just hope that he's alright now though we had lost contact for yrs...miss them though all funny guy but reality is that ite fren come and go plus my hp get into trouble once somthing happen to me...hope this time my w910i dun give up on me...my only "mp3" with me...well around that time a good guy will change into something bad too...new some fren that shuden had knew may it bad or good, thats how i came to recontact with my buddy again...was boring at Fisherman Village tat night with one of my brother...the only person i can think of is my buddy hui xi...haha this is how we contact back again haha and this is wad god's plans are...my this brother chio him in the end and i can only feel happy abt him:)and somehow or rather our friendship turn sour coz of her...meet gal can...meeet brother cannot, tats wad he told me...come'on, she's ur gf la zzz haiz 18 de me was a lonely one...with nothing but frens...but i was not contempt coz somewhere in my heart, i'm still thinking of my first ex...wanted to patch back but nth seems to be right and i just delete her contact off hmm i shud say that that's my first wrong move i've done bah haha...anyway we are still fren now but nvr contact though...by know that she's happy now some how feel happy for her:)but every time she ask me to go to her bdae party i nvr turn up haha coz too busy with frens...tats me..dunno how to face her...even now, every time i saw her, my hand will be holding a cigaratte and body will shake then feel giddy...dunno why...19yrs old de me, thats when i feel i'm *old* liaoz...yearning for some love...yes! haha i did spread my love around but nth seems to be right coz i dun dare zzz haha well i feel happy though coz the more i think, the more i feel that there's really this plan thingy in heaven really exist! haha and ya 19yrs old i just got my first own computer and internet...my first few game was O2jam...heard this game long time ago from my fren guoz...this game is really fun...until now i'm still playing:)around that time i really call myself gamer...in fact...i'm lonely...no body know except me:)20 de me i call it the turning point of my life and the long stop pendulum start swining again...well it seems like i couldn't wait till 12th then blog abt it...as usual...playing for a few round of O2jam...staying in the room of 8 ppl playing till all gone then i will find other room to play again...somehow or rather, i did something that i yet done in in the past in any game...saw ppl adding each other like no body's business...so well was like hmm since u all like to add each other hotmail why not i tag along too? haha but i thought tat no one will add me but haha! one of them prove me wrong! and this perticular one is really special haha super frenly but somehow i'm scared of her also initially...but haha dunno why hmm really! haha had first phone conversation with a gal that i dun really know...for that long somemore that day coming morning le and its first day of our school! haha i was in the 2nd term while she's start of her 2nd yr in ite...we chat on phone for a week straight and finally we meet up...in that week, this special feeling slowly grow and well end up had some feeing for her...as far as i know now, she has this special attraction through her...dunno how to explain but thats how it is la...ya and so we decided to skip school and meet up that friday hmm not bad i still remember coz its 20th of April...haha initially i thought she will nvr turn up coz i was waiting for her sms reply at punggol mrt...was thinking wa lau...if no reply i go home liaoz...coz seldom gals will ask me out 1 on 1 somemore except last time la...with sisters haha i know this is something different hmm haha but she DID REPLY! haha i will cut short coz i scared ppl that scared of my compo mah haha ;p we eventually end up together and really each days passes, we are like the deeper we fall:)as in more and more loving...though its been a long time i've changed, it seems like something nvr change and thats my stubborness...its really killing me...we had our up and down and finally...the pendulum is stopping...gradually...slowly...time to blog abt wad i did ytd...after zouk out that night, went home...couldn't slp in fact i nvr even slp...try not be late i reach mich place sharp at 11am only to find out that they are late! haha saw mich cooking stuff and it was 3/4 done hmm abt 1145hrs they reach...Ly and owen...we sat down and eat...well mich, i'm so sorry ah coz i acutally dun feel like eating but i manage to finish it haha and its nice:)yea went to play badminton and then wilson turn up...he's good haha a singapore youth badminton player...wish to play with him next time all out:)in the court...heard things that i dun like but there's nth i can do now...really...we are like on a split road...one going north and the other going south...but will we see each other again? coz no matter which direction we take that day, we will surely see each other at the starting point and then split again, again and again...and ya SORRY LY for my smash to landed on u tat day...the feeling is like haiz cut away my arm bah...lol haiz its like no matter wad i do...it hurts ppl around me...anyway we played for 3hours and like dead la haha but i just wanted to go on...and at that point my right arm is already shaking badly coz i stop playing badminton for a long time...wanted to train back though:)not for any person but myself and want to beat my opponent haha! i have rival now! haha WILSON! TILL NEXT TIME! haha nah its a joke coz i can nvr beat him with experience coz he's been playing all the while while i stop playing...anyway we leave the court at abt 1630hrs...wow! the feeling of dun wan to leave really hurt...bye bye 3 time if i'm not wrong...and the most funny part is i cried all the way home LOL uncles aunties look at me like wtf lor NNB nvr see ppl cry be4 meh haha!...went home and watch my sassy gal awhile haha the korean version de...then went to meet my buddy hui xi...i thought i'm gonna be late but ended up wait for her like an hour lol! i pig coz i old liaoz mah but got ppl seems older than me wahaha! nah joking:)yea after she reach, went to buy cigarattes and smoke...went to find her bf sister...dunno wad happen after that day i emo wa lau we all 3 like damn emo la...hui xi is like got problem with her bf and same to the sister...went to have dinner with them...no appetite though...its like the morning fried rice is still in my stomach LOL MICH! WHICH KIND OF RICE U USE??? haha! thx for ur rice that wont digust haha! we chit chat awhile then went over to hui xi's boss lady house to play mahjong WEE~~~wa lau! if anyone of u here know how to play mahjong, there's this perticular round i played, I GOT ALL THE ANIMAL LA!!! walau! straight away win $2 each haha! anyway we played for 1 round meaning north, first round, south, second round, east, third round lastly west...so this is wad we mean by 1round...4:1 tats the ratio...so next time if ppl say they played 24round(quan) meaning 24*4=96 which is 96:24...actually why we play mahjong le its becoz one of the boss lady's son just had a break up too haha so we kinda share the same fate REALLY the same fate la haha! LY!! I CAN BARELY SEE IT NOW HAHA! hmm i shall keep on going...we share our thoughts haha! like old fren lol! then hui xi there laugh...siad that we shud exchange number since we are like old fren but i insist tat i wont...i told them that if we really are fren, we will somehow see each other again and by then we will be fren:)after we chat finish its already like coming 4am haha! but manage to reach home abt 0430hrs...wa once i reach punggol...straight away went into emotional state...i sit at the place where i used to slack, smoke and listen song there...cried again all the way i went home and bathe...puggol lahggy best...really...BEST AH! i shud say...it seems like my eyes all dried up liaoz...no more water liaoz then manage to fall aslp...wake up at abt noon ... cccrrryyyyy again haiz...after awhile, i finally tell myself that i shud 4get abt her...though its sad...seriously i couldn't bare to forget her lor...if i really forget her i will feel guilty...dunno why...but i know somehow or rather, i will and this will be the pass coz i'm going to ns soon le...this news is really bad for me and a good one...bad is i got no time to enjoy more le...bad is will emo there dying there...i guess i will make that 2 yrs in ns my life to the fullet bah but i hope that by then i'm still living on with "our" memory as much as possible...this 23months and 5days of memory is like we had been together for decades to me..thank you Liyan...and many sorry...just hope that its the good thats with u now and the bad is with me ok! i think i cant let it go now but we still got promises so i will waork hard in it de...the bottom line is i'll let go and move on...without u:)but deep inside my heart...u will still be there...its not the time but the effort:)BATC will blog again
~~~it ends tonight 6th April 2009~~~
blog @ 1711hrs On 10th April
Edit @ 0521hrs On 11th April
Labels: for me to let go is just too sad for me
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Friday, April 10, 2009 | 5:15 PM | Top ~~~is started on 20th April 2007~~~
i'm now blogging at punggol...2yrs ago de today...nth seems to be happening..i'm still myself:)buddy hui xi lost contact again like it used to be and i already used to it...knew her for so long yet dun dare to show it just dunno why...had my first gf at 16 and broke off after we are like 4months...had my first heart ache this and that...my best fren was tiger then haha he know me best...yap around that time i dun own any computer stuff yet coz had a cold war with my cousin and stop using his comp eventually...tat time was different...a lot of fren...went out together doing stupid stuff...yea after my first break up, i start to change dramatically...eh for the frens that know me now, this is wad i've become and this is me now...am i a nice guy? good or bad? i dunno...am i still frenly? haha i sure that its always some possitive comment...i nvr really had any bad comment abt me...only some said that once i had new fren, i will forget my old fren in fact i'm always there and will be there for them if they call me out its just that they dunno wad i am actually so couldn't really blame them in fact i nvr once blame on any body for anything...in fact they change me:)17 de me, still feeling young and u know de la haha energetic and do crazy stuff...once a fren of mine told me that we smokers are training x2 of the stamina than the non smokers...tat time i agree but now haha its bad for ur health la just hope that he's alright now though we had lost contact for yrs...miss them though all funny guy but reality is that ite fren come and go plus my hp get into trouble once somthing happen to me...hope this time my w910i dun give up on me...my only "mp3" with me...well around that time a good guy will change into something bad too...new some fren that shuden had knew may it bad or good, thats how i came to recontact with my buddy again...was boring at Fisherman Village tat night with one of my brother...the only person i can think of is my buddy hui xi...haha this is how we contact back again haha and this is wad god's plans are...my this brother chio him in the end and i can only feel happy abt him:)and somehow or rather our friendship turn sour coz of her...meet gal can...meeet brother cannot, tats wad he told me...come'on, she's ur gf la zzz haiz 18 de me was a lonely one...with nothing but frens...but i was not contempt coz somewhere in my heart, i'm still thinking of my first ex...wanted to patch back but nth seems to be right and i just delete her contact off hmm i shud say that that's my first wrong move i've done bah haha...anyway we are still fren now but nvr contact though...by know that she's happy now some how feel happy for her:)but every time she ask me to go to her bdae party i nvr turn up haha coz too busy with frens...tats me..dunno how to face her...even now, every time i saw her, my hand will be holding a cigaratte and body will shake then feel giddy...dunno why...19yrs old de me, thats when i feel i'm *old* liaoz...yearning for some love...yes! haha i did spread my love around but nth seems to be right coz i dun dare zzz haha well i feel happy though coz the more i think, the more i feel that there's really this plan thingy in heaven really exist! haha and ya 19yrs old i just got my first own computer and internet...my first few game was O2jam...heard this game long time ago from my fren guoz...this game is really fun...until now i'm still playing:)around that time i really call myself gamer...in fact...i'm lonely...no body know except me:)20 de me i call it the turning point of my life and the long stop pendulum start swining again...well it seems like i couldn't wait till 12th then blog abt it...as usual...playing for a few round of O2jam...staying in the room of 8 ppl playing till all gone then i will find other room to play again...somehow or rather, i did something that i yet done in in the past in any game...saw ppl adding each other like no body's business...so well was like hmm since u all like to add each other hotmail why not i tag along too? haha but i thought tat no one will add me but haha! one of them prove me wrong! and this perticular one is really special haha super frenly but somehow i'm scared of her also initially...but haha dunno why hmm really! haha had first phone conversation with a gal that i dun really know...for that long somemore that day coming morning le and its first day of our school! haha i was in the 2nd term while she's start of her 2nd yr in ite...we chat on phone for a week straight and finally we meet up...in that week, this special feeling slowly grow and well end up had some feeing for her...as far as i know now, she has this special attraction through her...dunno how to explain but thats how it is la...ya and so we decided to skip school and meet up that friday hmm not bad i still remember coz its 20th of April...haha initially i thought she will nvr turn up coz i was waiting for her sms reply at punggol mrt...was thinking wa lau...if no reply i go home liaoz...coz seldom gals will ask me out 1 on 1 somemore except last time la...with sisters haha i know this is something different hmm haha but she DID REPLY! haha i will cut short coz i scared ppl that scared of my compo mah haha ;p we eventually end up together and really each days passes, we are like the deeper we fall:)as in more and more loving...though its been a long time i've changed, it seems like something nvr change and thats my stubborness...its really killing me...we had our up and down and finally...the pendulum is stopping...gradually...slowly...time to blog abt wad i did ytd...after zouk out that night, went home...couldn't slp in fact i nvr even slp...try not be late i reach mich place sharp at 11am only to find out that they are late! haha saw mich cooking stuff and it was 3/4 done hmm abt 1145hrs they reach...Ly and owen...we sat down and eat...well mich, i'm so sorry ah coz i acutally dun feel like eating but i manage to finish it haha and its nice:)yea went to play badminton and then wilson turn up...he's good haha a singapore youth badminton player...wish to play with him next time all out:)in the court...heard things that i dun like but there's nth i can do now...really...we are like on a split road...one going north and the other going south...but will we see each other again? coz no matter which direction we take that day, we will surely see each other at the starting point and then split again, again and again...and ya SORRY LY for my smash to landed on u tat day...the feeling is like haiz cut away my arm bah...lol haiz its like no matter wad i do...it hurts ppl around me...anyway we played for 3hours and like dead la haha but i just wanted to go on...and at that point my right arm is already shaking badly coz i stop playing badminton for a long time...wanted to train back though:)not for any person but myself and want to beat my opponent haha! i have rival now! haha WILSON! TILL NEXT TIME! haha nah its a joke coz i can nvr beat him with experience coz he's been playing all the while while i stop playing...anyway we leave the court at abt 1630hrs...wow! the feeling of dun wan to leave really hurt...bye bye 3 time if i'm not wrong...and the most funny part is i cried all the way home LOL uncles aunties look at me like wtf lor NNB nvr see ppl cry be4 meh haha!...went home and watch my sassy gal awhile haha the korean version de...then went to meet my buddy hui xi...i thought i'm gonna be late but ended up wait for her like an hour lol! i pig coz i old liaoz mah but got ppl seems older than me wahaha! nah joking:)yea after she reach, went to buy cigarattes and smoke...went to find her bf sister...dunno wad happen after that day i emo wa lau we all 3 like damn emo la...hui xi is like got problem with her bf and same to the sister...went to have dinner with them...no appetite though...its like the morning fried rice is still in my stomach LOL MICH! WHICH KIND OF RICE U USE??? haha! thx for ur rice that wont digust haha! we chit chat awhile then went over to hui xi's boss lady house to play mahjong WEE~~~wa lau! if anyone of u here know how to play mahjong, there's this perticular round i played, I GOT ALL THE ANIMAL LA!!! walau! straight away win $2 each haha! anyway we played for 1 round meaning north, first round, south, second round, east, third round lastly west...so this is wad we mean by 1round...4:1 tats the ratio...so next time if ppl say they played 24round(quan) meaning 24*4=96 which is 96:24...actually why we play mahjong le its becoz one of the boss lady's son just had a break up too haha so we kinda share the same fate REALLY the same fate la haha! LY!! I CAN BARELY SEE IT NOW HAHA! hmm i shall keep on going...we share our thoughts haha! like old fren lol! then hui xi there laugh...siad that we shud exchange number since we are like old fren but i insist tat i wont...i told them that if we really are fren, we will somehow see each other again and by then we will be fren:)after we chat finish its already like coming 4am haha! but manage to reach home abt 0430hrs...wa once i reach punggol...straight away went into emotional state...i sit at the place where i used to slack, smoke and listen song there...cried again all the way i went home and bathe...puggol lahggy best...really...BEST AH! i shud say...it seems like my eyes all dried up liaoz...no more water liaoz then manage to fall aslp...wake up at abt noon ... cccrrryyyyy again haiz...after awhile, i finally tell myself that i shud 4get abt her...though its sad...seriously i couldn't bare to forget her lor...if i really forget her i will feel guilty...dunno why...but i know somehow or rather, i will and this will be the pass coz i'm going to ns soon le...this news is really bad for me and a good one...bad is i got no time to enjoy more le...bad is will emo there dying there...i guess i will make that 2 yrs in ns my life to the fullet bah but i hope that by then i'm still living on with "our" memory as much as possible...this 23months and 5days of memory is like we had been together for decades to me..thank you Liyan...and many sorry...just hope that its the good thats with u now and the bad is with me ok! i think i cant let it go now but we still got promises so i will waork hard in it de...the bottom line is i'll let go and move on...without u:)but deep inside my heart...u will still be there...its not the time but the effort:)BATC will blog again
~~~it ends tonight 6th April 2009~~~
blog @ 1711hrs On 10th April
Edit @ 0521hrs On 11th April
Labels: for me to let go is just too sad for me
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